sad realization

ugh, i was doing my teaching apprenticeship awhile ago and i sensed that there was a big missing link...ugh, i bored them, was i? or is it, they are pre-occupied with this notion that student teachers can't be a real teacher...

fuck! damn! dumb! assholes! shit!!! dammit!

i was talking about gabo's a very old man with enormous wings. and i expected that they read the story already and i'll just do some follow-ups... ugh, yet only two out of forty something students done their assignment. it was a big disappointment for me...or to them? ME! coz i'll be graded...the hell with the grade thingy what matter most is this so-called internal satisfaction. and i havent achieved it yet... and it makes me sick...fuck!

grrr... so i introduced postmodernism instead of digging deeper to the story...how can i go deep into the story when they didn't 'read' it???

ugh, my only consolation is that, they learned that stories don't have to follow the conventional plot...

that theres a lot of writers out there waiting to be 'discovered'...

that i am just like them, learning the art of literature..

that, karma hits home, embracing me tightly though i didn't welcomed it....grrrrrrrrrrrrr...